a d   v i c e

Dear Ad-Vice
baldy I am a single 30something who also happens to be balding. Not horrible comb-over balding...but I got the Woody Allen baldspot going.

This has absolutely KILLED my confidence around women. To crunch numbers here -- in the past 4 years, I hae only been on 6 dates. I am truly, woefully abashed when it comes to meeting & greeting the female species these days.

Otherwise, I am fit (jog, bike, tennis) & even own a car. But just can't seem to get past the balding thing. I feel the moment I meet a woman at a bar or club or show...her eyes roam upwards & that's all she said. My potential "date" status is done for. Ditto sex appeal. Ditto ditto ditto.

Can you suggest any confidence-boosting exercises and/or icebreakers to get me past this extreme self-awareness?

Feel free to paraphase any of the above.

Thank you,

The Guy Who Doesn't Have Hugh Jackman's Hair

Ad replies:

Hi Guy,ad

I will not insult you by telling you that its the person inside that matters. I'm sure you've been over that. I'll start with the most superficial answer first. It is a three part answer.

Part 1. Jason Statham

Part 2. Mitch Pileggi

Part 3. Javier Camara

And these are just the first three men who popped into my head.

And they are hot.

Hot hot hot. And, by your description, you have much more hair then they do. So you can forget about your pate. As my Daddy used to say, "The Good Lord only created a few perfect heads, and he covered the rest with hair."

Next. Please take a look around the room next time you are at a bar at a party, and take note of all the pretty ladies with absolute dorks on their arm. Having been one of these dorks on occasion, I have several theories on this. One is that, okay, well, maybe it really is the person that counts. Okay, that disqualifies me as an example, since I am a first rate prick and not very interesting, but you get the point. Secondly, the confidence level of most women I know is down there with that of most men I know. Most fabulous ladies have no idea how fabulous they are.

I am not entirely sure of this, but I happen to have three fabulous ladies in my band, so I will hand this over to one of them.

Best of luck, Guy.


Dear Sans Hair,

sara Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities a person can have, if you have it, imperfections go unnoticed or become less important.

If you've got a nice head, you could always cut your hair short. Not Billy Corgan short, but an inch or two short. I'm a fan of short hair anyway, especially on balding heads. But that's fashion advice.

The fact is, you are going bald and there's nothing you can do about it. Unless you get Rogaine or something. But seems like the better decision, unless you are so awfully insecure about it, is to just realize it's who you are and you can't change it.

Everyone has imperfections. I have a bump in my nose, some people say it's too big, but I love it. It's me. I could change it, but I would never want to look like everyone else. I'm kind of weird looking, and I am very much ok with that.

Bald can be very sexy, just own it.


Dear Ad-Vice:

devil Im 31, male, and monogonadal. I love Yes, Dane Cook, rye, and sports programming where middle-aged nimwits yell at each other. I'm very comfortable with myself. Problem is, my girlfriend keeps pushing for things like conversation, flowers, and "making an effort for her birthday."

Please ad-vise.

Burning While Peeing

Sarah replies:

Dear Burning Man:

sara If you like your girlfriend and don't want to spend the rest of your life having orgasms solely from masturbating, I suggest acknowledging that she sometimes would like to be seen as extra special. And I don't mean a satisfied grunt after you bang. Even if romance isn't your thing, if you love your girl, give her wants she wants sometimes. And if you are comfortable with yourself, you'll realize that showing that you care about your girl is pretty hot and manly.

yours truly,


Well, I have started soliciting questions for the Fast Easy Women advice column and we have our first one. Please reply all and feel free to respond to one another as well as the original question.

click here to ask ad vice